Time for a Reality Check

Wow, it has been a few weeks since I last posted. I have to say that for the last year, I was pretty addicted to this blogging thing and have had fun posting and reading other blogs. Bottomline is that this blog has mostly been drivel with not much point. I was never even sure why I started it. I have tried to get at least a post in weekly, but as you may have noticed, I have not had the time to post lately. Mostly because my old job was easy and I was able to spend time posting and reading on the job.

My new job is great, but I have no extra time to play at work. I thought that I would be able to keep going inspite of that fact. However, spending time on the computer has seriously cut into my jewelry making time.

So...since I was able to go two weeks and not feel as guilty about not posting, I seem to have crossed a threshold that allows me to give myself a break and be okay with it. Since most of what I have written has been pointless anyway, I think I'll take a hiatus for a while. I might come back, but I might not.

That said, you won't get rid of me that easily. I'll still be around and comment here and there if you don't mind.

Thank you my dear readers.

Just A Quick Update

I'm still here, I've just been super busy. The new job is going great! I just have a heavier work load and not so much time to play during the work day. The work is challenging, which is what I was looking for in this new job. Bottomline, I was bored at my old job. The new job will not allow for boredom.

Other things going on include my husband coaching my five-year-old's soccer team and having the opposing coach come after him during the game on Saturday. Needless to say, that was interesting. I was very proud of my husband for not losing his cool with this bonehead and really disfusing the situation. Nevermind the fact that at least two other father's on our team's side had his back.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and I hope to have more for you soon.

HA! Hey Braintrust...See YA!!!

Let's get right to it! Last Wednesday was my last day at my old job and DAMN did it feel good. I did find myself a little sad, but after sitting and listening to her crack her chewing gum and talk all day to her idiot husband, it was great to walk out the door. She even offered to help carry some stuff to my car (I'll give a smidge of credit for that).

Anyway, I took Thursday and Friday as vacation and we packed the boys and the dog up and headed off to PA for the weekend. We took the boys to their first Penn State game and they had a blast. I have to say the game got off to a slow start, but the Nittany Lions found their way on the field to defeat Youngstown State. In reality, I think we should have dominated them more than we did, but I'll take the win even if it wasn't the waxing it should have been. It sure was better than the mess that ocurred in South Bend the week before.

Today was my first day at the new job and it turns out I was nervous, which was a surprise to me. I guess I just really want to do a good job and was worried about disappointing my friend. It has also been a hellva long time since I have experienced a "first day" at a new job. I did have to stop by the old office to approve a proof on the magazine and the director asked if he could help me bring my things back to my office. I guess he's in a bit of denial. It has been nice to know how much they have appreciated me and my work. Even if they had counter-offered, I don't think I would have wanted to stay. Besides, I would have only stayed if they threw a ridiculous amount of money and fired my braintrust girl, which probably wouldn't have happened.

My Steelers are playing now so I'm going to watch more of the game and go to bed.

I Remember…

…pulling into the parking lot at work as the radio reported the first airplane had hit the first tower.

…calling my husband to tell him about the airplane and getting his voicemail.

…hearing that another airplane had hit the second tower.

…calling my husband and getting his voicemail again.

…thinking two planes hitting the WTC was not an accident.

…talking to my boss about how easy it would be to do the same thing here.

…hearing that a plane had crashed into the Pentagon.

…calling my husband (his office was a stone’s throw from the Pentagon) and getting his voicemail again.

…sitting in a co-worker’s office waiting and praying that our Federal employee husbands were okay.

…hearing that there were unaccounted planes in the air.

…my sister-in-law in Philly emailing (because she couldn’t get through on the phone) to find out if we were okay and me having to tell her that I didn’t know where her brother was.

…my brother in Baltimore e-mailing to check on us.

…my best friend in Florida calling (somehow she got through on the phone) to check on us and me losing it on her because I didn’t yet know if my husband was safe.

…being six miles too far away from our newborn son.

…seeing the smoke from the Pentagon from my office window.

…my husband finally calling me and telling me to get the baby and meet him at home. He’d been in a meeting in a different building, which they had evacuated. He hadn’t even listened to my messages.

…walking into our director’s office and telling him that I was going home and hoped he didn’t have a problem with it. He told me to drive safely.

…my brother calling on my cell phone to find out if I’d heard from my husband and me asking him to call my sister-in-law in Philly to tell her we were all okay.

…getting on the beltway and driving 90 m.p.h. to get to the daycare and thinking that law enforcement probably had more important shit to do than bust me for speeding.

…driving and watching the sky for planes.

…finally getting the baby and getting home and sitting and holding him and rocking him more so for my benefit than his.

…waiting for my husband to get home…an hour and a half later from a normally 15 minute commute.

…watching the carnage on TV.

…finally feeling relief when my husband walked in the house.

…laughing when he told me that he thought people were packing up and leaving town because as he was leaving his office, he’d seen people walking all over the place with suitcases. I told him that they had evacuated the airport (DCA), which is across the parkway from his office.

…HELL YES I’m going to work the next day because I will not give in to the FUCKING terrorist bastards.

…driving past the Pentagon a few days later and the smoke still billowing from the gaping hole.

…hearing helicopters flying at night when there was a no-fly zone for miles. I presume they were running between Quantico and the Pentagon or DCA.

…hearing the fighter jets above my house constantly and feeling a sense of comfort.

…taping American flags to the window of our cars.

…seeing signs everywhere that said “God Bless America”

…being profoundly sad for months.

…feeling guilty about how badly I felt even though I didn’t know anyone that died and my husband came home.

…the six-month anniversary and yelling at my mother on the phone. She had called to see if I was watching the memorial stuff on TV. My reply was that I hadn’t watched TV or listened to the radio all day because I still remembered. She then went into a narrative about what was going on in NY and me yelling at her that if I wanted to watch and know what they were doing I’d have turned the TV on myself. I still remembered as if it was that day.

…applying for a special “Fight Terrorism” license plate for my car.

…hearing the fighter jets above my house and feeling unnerved.

…the year anniversary and me taking the day off work to spend it with my son and a friend with her kids. We spent the day together and took our kids to a park and out to lunch. I did not watch any TV or listen to the radio.

…why I have to wait for security to check under my car with long-handled mirrors before I am allowed to enter certain parking garages.

…why I have to take my shoes off at the airport and why I can’t carry on my shampoo.

…being more scared than anything I have ever known.

I remember everything as if it was today. I saw 3 planes flying up the Potomac driving in to work this morning and still to this day am reminded. I do not need the media to remind me so I haven’t watched the news or listened to the radio since Friday. I do not need my mother to call and see if I’m okay today because she knows this was rough on me. I’m not EVER going to be okay on this anniversary and it pisses me off that she feels the need to call me and bring it up.

My heart goes out to those that lost loved ones five years ago today.

I will NEVER forget September 11, 2001.

UNITED WE STAND you fucking terrorist bastards!

Back to School

Let's get right to it. My oldest son started kindergarten this morning. He was just fine and was very patient as I snapped photos before we left the house and again, when I took a picture of him with his teacher at school. I kissed him goodbye, told him that I love him and walked down the hall with tears in my eyes. He is such a wonderful, funny and smart little boy and I am so proud of him it makes my heart swell.

Oh, and the weather is horrible here for the start of school today. Just pouring down rain like crazy. I felt bad for all the kids that had to wait for the bus in the rain this morning.

Sorry that I was MIA last week. Since I resigned, I have a ton of work to get done before my last day, which will be Sept. 13th. I also have to get my "cube" packed up. I have 7 working days left here and then I'll start the new position Monday Sept. 18th.

I'm behind on reading your blogs, so hopefully I'll be able to catch up more with you this week.

Quick Update

First let me say that you all have been great today. Thank you all so much for your kind and supportive thoughts.

I was uneasy going in to work. I was up at 4:30 a.m. thinking about how I was going to do it and what I could possibly say. I ended up googling "resignation letter" and found some good samples to modify for my needs. I printed two copies and waited for them to show up and get their coffee. I was nervous going into my boss' office. I still didn't know what to say, so I said, "I've thought about it and there's no easy way to do this and handed them both my letter. My diredt boss was surprised but not completely shocked. I guess it is a sign of a good manager when he knows you aren't exactly in the right place with things. He knew that I was feeling like I'm in a creative rut. He's pleased that I stayed as long as I did and I'm sure he's sorry to see me go. They are happy that I've found a good opportunity and want me to do what's best for me, which I guess is all I could ask from them. The first thing the director asked was if my personality conflicts [brain trust]was the reason I was leaving. My reply was "No that's not the main reason, but it didn't help the situation." Ha! For once the right thing to say came to me on cue instead of in hindsight!

So my dear cyber friends, my last day is slated for Sept. 15th, but I might take a few of the last days as vacation if I can get enough work finished. I am slated to start the new job on Sept. 18th. The new job is going to be a higher volume of work and more deadline sensitive, which will cut into my blogging time, but I'm excited to do different work and ready for the challenge.

Alright, I've got Grey's Anatomy on pause, so I'm off to indulge in some mind wasting TV. I'm off with the boys to Philly for our niece's birthday party this weekend. The boys are excited to go to a pool party. Have a great weekend everyone and THANKS AGAIN!!!

Technically I'm Holding Down Two Jobs

Things have been quite busy with me. I received an official offer from my friend to work for him starting in mid-September, which I formally accepted today.

We have been going back and forth the last few weeks talking and working out the details of what the best arrangement for both of us will be. I'm really excited about the new position. I will gain more variety in my work in a more challenging atmosphere. Where I work now they tend to be happy with whatever design I throw together. This has pluses and minuses and lately I've been bored and in a rut. My friend is a software sponge and I will learn SO much from him. The job also gets me working with other creative people again. In my current position, I've been a one woman graphics department. Not only will I have my friend to bounce ideas around with, but also the other designers that work where he sublets his space. Oh, did I mention that the new job is literally one block from the old job? No change in the commute and I'm still in Old Town Alexandria, which is really my favorite place in the Metro DC area.

The hard part is going to be puting in my notice tomorrow. My boss returns from a conference tomorrow and I didn't really want to hit him with this his first day back, the exec. director will be out Friday and I don't want to have to think about it all weekend. The office has been through so much this year, some I've talked about here, some I haven't. At any rate, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be blindsiding them. The office has been very good to me over the nearly ten years I've been employed there and I really like most of my coworkers, so it is hard to walk away from something so comfortable. I know that I do need the change. The timing is just right for me. I didn't go looking for a new job, the new job came looking for me, which is a nice feeling.

I'm scared of what my boss' reaction is going to be. Hopefully he won't freak out too much. Then in a few short weeks I'll also have the extra added bonus of being rid of the remainder of the brain trust. (She was chewing gum again today and popping and cracking it. I had to break out the noise cancelling headphones and jam out to Prince.) Yeah, I know old school, but a girl needs a little funkiness now and then and Prince is good for that.

So, wish me luck Thursday morning. I'll try to let you know how it goes sometime tomorrow.